Big Brothers Big Sisters of Eastern Missouri
HOSTL partnered with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Eastern Missouri to share stories of Bigs and Littles. Below are some of our most meaningful snippets. Click on the titles for the more in-depth stories!
LOVE, LAUGHTER, LEMONS: HOW A LITTLE GOT BIG
“When I met my Big Brother, man – you never seen a cooler breeze than Bill. He walked in the room and everybody’s shoulders just kind of relaxed. I think my Little Brother Kiari’s already figured that out. First words out of his mouth anytime I tell him about a stressful situation is, ‘Yeah, you just gotta relax.’ I’m 41 right now, and Kiari’s helping me learn that even more. The first time my wife met him, she sat there with her mouth open. She’s never met anyone that can make me stop talking. By the time I drop him off after hanging out, I’ve got to pull around the corner away from his house, get out of the car, and put my hands on my knees like, ‘Oh my goodness,’ because he’s just boom, boom, boom. Our very first hangout, Kiari asked me, ‘How do solar panels work?’ I wasn’t ready for that. ‘I’m going to have to get back to you, so let’s just enjoy this.’ When I came back the next time, I talked to him about solar panels. And he said, ‘Yeah… Then where does the energy go?’ I was like, ‘Hold on. Google, let’s talk solar panels.’ And Google was like, ‘Oh, you with Kiari again?’”
Big Brother, Randy, and Little Brother, Kiari
“By the time I was my daughter’s age, I already had such a distrust and hate for adults. I had been violated. I already did drugs. My stepdad’s dad tried to rape me. I stabbed him, and I got 10 years. I’ve struggled with addiction, my mental health, and, now, my physical health – just daily living can knock the wind out of me – and she has to deal with it. I feel bad for her sometimes. And there are times I say, ‘One day, we’re gonna get to grow old together.’ It’ll matter that she wasn’t addicted to drugs and alcohol, it’ll matter that she wasn’t raped, it’ll matter that she wasn’t molested. It’ll matter that she didn’t go to prison. One day, these things are really going to make a difference in her life. It’ll matter that she got to do regular things like a regular kid. She got to go to high school, she got to graduate, she got to see and do things that I never would’ve been able to do. I don’t think my mother knew half the time what I did. But I don’t miss a beat with my daughter because that’s mine. That’s my moment. My biggest fear is that she’ll grow up and have all these resentments and anger towards me. I’m praying that because I went out of my way to keep her in a better position, one day she’ll look back and say, ‘Mom, thank you. I appreciate it.’”
Kimmie and Synmar
“If I wasn’t a police officer, I would still be doing some type of mentoring. I’m very committed to doing this type of work because it needs to be done. Like my current Little Brother who lives in North St. Louis, I grew up in the city in – I guess what you would say – a bad area for our standards: a lot of single moms, a lot of unemployment, not a lot of men in the neighborhood actually being family members, a lot of violence, poverty, drug use, a lot of hopelessness. Not a lot of opportunity. The biggest thing that my Little Brother and I have in common is a shared background when it comes to certain viewpoints, feelings, language. If he tells me his problems, I don’t have to try to understand them. I do understand them. Growing up in my neighborhood, we didn’t have a lot of positive male role models that looked like I did. Young black youth don’t have to follow the path that other men or their neighborhood have shown them, or what society has told them they’re likely to do. So when they have someone who comes from their neighborhood that looks like them, some Littles can relate, and that can give them hope.”
Big Brother, D, and Little Brother, J